and I don’t even know what hurts anymore.

I can’t hurt myself unless I NEED to anymore and I’m groovy with the escape but it never goes away

I almost feel ashamed of myself for not having a visible scar that’s less then 7 or 5 or 6 years old.

I should be proud of it but I can’t and I’m not and I miss the easy way out even if I don’t want it anymore but sometimes it hurts so much and I’m not alowed to alleviate the pain and I love my friend bu tI wish no one cared so I could do the thing and sort my shit and shut my brain.