I always end up feeling scared, even when I’m not and I know I’m not and i pretend I’m not scared about not knowing what I’m doing or however deep I get.

It is so important that I’m alone else hence not who I am whom I dig I’m Godfather funny stories swear wordy rythm and rhyme it’s not a front to protect because it is real but it’s ace that most people don’t know the sub levels except what I talk on Facebook that no one reads mostly.

Today has been a full on happy head but I could let that cunt in at any second.

Somehow we both know I wont but we both know I want to so we go through all this pretend and then call it a draw.

I will always win even if I don’t want to and he will whatever but one day, I will slice my arm again or I will feel the fire.

The further I get away from it the more it becomes a desire but it isn’t something I want or need so where is this yearning coming from?

Is it because the more of my abilities I lose the more you take off me and the more I’m left to do it on my own?

Fuck you anyway for not letting me you fucking fuck fucker cunt shit twat wank.

Oh yeah sure I wont hurt myself because you’re all namby fucking pamby bleah bleah bleah you pussy.

But cheers me dude, neither will I.