I wish I could still SCREAM inside my head. I wish I could squeeze my had as if crushing the pain. I don’t wish I could hurt myself but I wish I could. The inside pressure isn’t close to what it used to be and I will roll another because I just dropped the last one out the window, and then go to bed.

And I will not be Bad or Sad and I will deal with this shit that by brain tries to fuck with me with, but I wish I didnt’ have to, I wish I could still take the easy way out and just not like myself and get all fucked up and somehow end up liking myself cos I’m not dead but not rinse and repeat but a good, safe, comfortable, easy way out of the brain pain.

It’s all well and good eveyone an by everyone I

need to message Sandy