I guess a problem is is that the more you accept that you don’t need what you think you need, the more you think about what you don’t need.

it doesn’t necessarily start the spirals off again but it does make you think about what you don’t need.

to refer to my own unfinished poem…

Am I alone
or am I lonely?

Truth be told?
I’ve never really know.

Once you know and accept it, it doesn’t stop the questioning. but I guess it gets easier to accept the answer you’ve always known.

The time I played for Lina’s birthday at the pub opposite LGI.

Isaac from Kovax was working that night.

I finished my set, chatted a bit with people, got to the bar and they’d stopped serving.

NOOOOO.

Then the guy who owned the place said something like, “You’ve entertained us so much with your words, here’s a free beer even though we’ve stopped serving.”

– A tiny gesture but a beautiful memory and self knowledge moment that my Art is actually good.

murder
murder
self murder

I could totally self murder
right now
and nobody would know
for days
and days

I totally could do that.

I know I wont
and “self harm” is out of the question
I can’t take some acid
at this late hour
I no longer punch walls
or
any of it.

how do I get rid of my last bits?