It’s hard sometimes not to think that nobody gives a shit about you.

You work on a project for months and months, it cost you money and time and especially, specific brain power. It is so difficult to be in that mind place where I trust myself to write drunken stoner type stuff to other people without normal me editing or or some shit I don’t know but I fucking trust myself not to be too silly but if I am it’s only a bit too silly not TOO silly. Like how Python and people can milk a joke and flog it long after it’s dead but still know when to not do just one more.

or something

point being. I made about 30 of these buggers and I didn’t expect a huge launch obviously because I’m me but then, I also have 500 “friends” on Facebook and maybe a hundred or 70 liked the page and so I assumed they were interested.

First day’s post when I thought I’d be taking a photo of me posting loads, but there were 4 and one was a letter to Sandy I forgot to post last week and another was her one from this that I knew she wouldn’t do so I did it for her.

My launch was 2 actual douglasadamsandthecookie envelopes.

TWO. Out of all my friends and family who claim to support me and dig me and like my Art and so on and so forth.

How many fuckers were actually there for my launch?

2

And both (awesome people that they are) are not even in my closest circle of people I know.

I know we all have our own lives and stuff goes on but yeah, cheers for not coming to my fucking scary brave new project launch you fucking cunts.

I made the appointment so it’s my fault and everything but I have to do a grown up tomorrow and get my eyes tested and it’s going to be ace to have glasses that I can see again and they stay on my head at gigs,

but I also have to get my eyes tested and talk to Grown Ups and make decisions and hope my payment card works and how much is it going to cost me anyway and it’s a fucking mind churn of shit I don’t need.

I just want a new pair of specs.

I was supposed to be keeping a diary of my bad eating to make me pay attention to stuff but keep forgetting so will attempt to put it here onwards.

Day before Yesterday

4 (pieces of bread) tuna sandwiches

Yesterday

4 tuna sandwiches
6 egg sandwiches

Today

4 crisp butties
booze

06/07/21

6 egg butties

07/07/21

Another day I didn’t commit suicide and murder myself so hurrah and move on to the next one.

It’s fucking hard work not having the option to be dead and I don’t really now if it gets any easier and I hate it’s a fight I have to fight but mostly I’m glad I win.